OctPoWriMo 30 - Each Piece of Me

Prompt: Who am I?

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

Each Piece of Me

I find the edges—make a frame
That can contain
The many varied pieces of
My life and love,
For I do not know what I’ll be
Until I see
Each piece of me.

OctPoWriMo 28 - I Will Never Yield

Prompt: Mending the Broken Places
Form: Pantoum

Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay

I Will Never Yield

I was born with wings
But I must learn to fly.
No one pulls my strings;
I will reach the sky.

I must learn to fly,
And I know I’ll prevail.
I will reach the sky:
My wings are not so frail.

I know that I’ll prevail;
I will throw off these chains.
My wings are not so frail,
And I will rise again.

I will throw off these chains:
I’m broken but I’m healed,
And I will rise again,
And I will never yield.

I’m broken but I’m healed,
And no one pulls my strings,
And I will never yield,
For I was born with wings.

OctPoWriMo 27 - I'd Rather Make Mistakes

Prompt: How did I get here
Form: Ottava rima

Image by Simon Steinberger from Pixabay

I'd Rather Make Mistakes

Sometimes it feels like crawling up a hill
And I keep sliding back no matter what;
At other times it's like I'm standing still.
God, how do I get out of this deep rut?
If this is destiny, I'll take free will—
I'd rather make mistakes than be a robot.
Let me be just who I'm meant to be:
It may be hard but I'll at least be me.

OctPoWriMo 27 - Finding the Pieces

Prompt: What has been unspoken

Form: Jacob's Star

Image by Mike Sweeney from Pixabay

Finding the Pieces

What

Is my truth?

In many pieces

Scattered all around, some lost,

Some in the hands of others.

What is unspoken?

Who am I?

Trust.

***

I

Am human:

Broken? Or simply

Some assembly required.

Who am I really inside?

One piece at a time

I build me.

Faith.

***

Love:

The first piece,

The basis of life.

Trust is the glue that follows.

Faith keeps it all together.

But, to find each piece,

I still need

Hope.

OctPoWriMo 5 - Wide Open

Prompt: Doors
Suggested form: The Bop

Wide Open

All my life I’ve sought the shadows:

Hiding who I am from everyone;

Presenting part of me as all of me;

A mask not quite a lie but not the whole

of who I really am. I like the quiet

in the darkness of my thoughts.

Fling the door wide open and let the light come in.

I am sensitive to sun and light:

Too much of it can quickly burn my skin,

But I cannot survive too long in shadow.

And yet the opened door is terrifying.

I am safe, alone and sheltered

here inside my refuge

where no one knows me

or my secrets.

Fling the door wide open and let the light come in.

With creaking, squeaking hinges,

my closet door cracks open.

I let a couple people in.

But fear still holds me in its grip

and keeps me in the dark. Why should I

share who I am with those I cannot trust?

Fling the door wide open and let the light come in.

OctPoWriMo 4 - Born With Wings

Prompt: Cage

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

Born With Wings

I was born with wings, yet they were weak;

I needed training how to make them fly,

But no one told me I could reach the sky,

And those who flew were looked upon as freaks.

They told me I was meant to be unique,

But “normal” was the model to my eye.

It took me way too long to see the lie—

How can you find if you don’t know to seek?

Now fear is chains upon my heart and soul,

Heavy links that hold the feathers fast,

Doubt that tries to keep me in control.

When I come out and spread my wings at last

And fly into the blue, then I will see

That I was always meant to be this free.

OctPoWriMo 3 - Barren

Today's prompt is womb. This one was a little painful to write for me.

Image by Marion Wunder from Pixabay

Barren

“There is nothing more important to society than the raising of children, for its very survival requires it.”

Desolate
Empty
Dry and dead
The wind cries across the arid expanse
Seeds don’t sprout here
Rain doesn’t fall here

Nothing but sand and bare rocks as far as the eye can see

“...they have many of the collateral features of marriage, but they do not have its inherent feature, as they cannot commit to the natural procreation of children.”

Natural
Real
Creation
But nothing grows here

“They cannot therefore be married.”

My womb is empty, dry, and dead
I do not have the inherent feature

~
All quotes by Andrew Scheer, leader of the Conservative Party of Canada

OctPoWriMo 2 - Changeling

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Changeling

What if I was someone else
And I didn’t know?
The child of gremlins, fairies, elves,
Switched so long ago.

And, if I never learned the truth,
Would it amount to naught?
A human copy so exact:
A flawless counterfeit.

So, who am I? And what am I?
And what does ‘human’ mean?
Am I a bag of meat and bones,
A flesh and blood machine?

Or am I made of stars and dust,
A spirit wrapped in skin?
An immortal soul who has
Only just begun?

Does it matter what I am
Or where my genesis?
Who I am is who I am
The rest irrelevant.

OctPoWriMo 1 - Change My Mind

Today's prompt is "Dark Night of the Soul." There is no suggested form, so I chose one of my favourites, the English sonnet.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Change My Mind

I look for myself in Mom, in Dad, in friends;
I look for myself in art, in love, in God;
But all I find is bits of odds and ends.
Is there a me? Or am I just a fraud?

And yet, each piece I find is part of me
And, piece by piece, I fit myself together
Just like a jigsaw puzzle, and I see
Some pieces join to be, not whole, but closer.

The dark night of my soul is when I find
A portion of the picture is something
That I don’t want to be. And yet my mind
Is mine. So this is me, despite the sting.

If I accept and integrate that part,
And change my mind, then I can change my heart.

Book Release - The Corners of My Heart

I finally finished putting together a collection of poetry about all the secret parts of my soul that I usually hide. These poems hold up a light to things in me that I usually don't share.

Amazon | Smashwords | Goodreads

I wrote the poems in here over several years, and through finding myself. The more I've written about myself, the more I've learned about myself.

I've dedicated this book to my sister, who is my best friend, and always encourages me to be myself.

OctPoWriMo 14 - The Corners of My Heart

I wish that I could be
Wholly, truly me.
I wish I didn't care,
That I felt safe to share
The deepest, darkest parts,
The corners of my heart.

In the Deep

Deep beneath the surface
Something starts to stir:
Moving with a purpose
Deep beneath the surface.
Soon will be catharsis
For I cannot deter;
Deep beneath the surface
Something starts to stir.

OctPoWriMo 19 - I Don't Want Your Soul

Today's prompt is Fox or Foxy and the suggested poetry type is the florette.

I Don't Want Your Soul

Because I’m a redhead, some say
I’m crafty and cunning and fey,
Just like a fox, tricky and sly.
But really, I’m quiet and I don’t like to stray
From comfortable things I know.
I like to live life kind of slow:
I don’t power walk—no, I stroll.
I am calm, I don’t want your soul; I’ll just lie low.

OctPoWriMo 18 - Easier to Pretend

Today's prompt is Everyone Went on Eating, as in what if you made a huge announcement and no one cared? I really liked the pantoum when I wrote a couple earlier this month, so I did another one.

Easier to Pretend

If I were to tell my family and friends
Who am I really, deep down inside,
I wonder would they simply pretend
I had said nothing? Would they brush me aside?

Who am I really, deep down inside?
Few truly know me; to all the rest
I have said nothing. Would they brush me aside?
Pass off as a jest my truth so expressed?

Few truly know me; to all the rest
If I were to trust you, would you then condemn?
Pass off as a jest my truth so expressed?
Look at my heart and soul with contempt?

If I were to trust you, would you then condemn?
I am afraid my loved ones might
Look at my heart and soul with contempt
See who I am as transgression, as spite.

I’m also afraid my loved ones might
Find it easier to simply pretend,
Though they see who I am as transgression, as spite.
If I were to tell my family and friends.

OctPoWriMo 12 - Imaginary Friends

Today's prompt is Imagination Stands in the Road, and we were asked to remember our imaginary friends—if we had them. I had four. Pomby was my first, and I created her alone, while the other three were created along with my sister.

We were also challenged to write a sestina today, which is a very difficult form.

Imaginary Friends

Pomby, Piecey, Chunky, and Pottatoa were their names.
Pomby was first and dearest, a tiny shadow.
The others were joint creations with my little sister,
The first characters created by us tiny writers
Before we knew how to make stories;
We would run outside, playing games together.

When we started creating stories together,
We soon forgot all but their names.
We needed new characters for our new stories.
Our imaginary friends faded into shadow
As we grew into our destiny as writers:
Me and my little sister.

So many years have passed, and my sister
And I no longer write together.
We have grown into distinct writers,
Making our own names,
Neither living in the other’s shadow;
Yet we still read and critique each other’s stories.

So many years and so very many stories,
And my greatest friend has always been my sister.
My memories are mostly lost to shadow
Of all the tales we used to make together.
We knew someday our names
Would be among known writers.

And now we’re fanfic writers,
And readers love our stories.
They may not know our real names,
But they know our words, especially my sister’s.
We still love to work together;
Upon our work, each other’s shadow.

My memories of childhood are but shadows;
I would forget it all were I not a writer.
I remember creating things together,
Though I can’t recall the stories
Me and my sister
Created so long ago. But the names

Are yet shadows of the stories
We tiny writers me and my sister
Imagined together with their names.

OctPoWriMo 7 - Caution

Today's prompt is And Then I Went Too Far. But I honestly cannot think of a time when I did anything that could be called "too far." I'm a very cautious person, and I don't usually come close to the line, let alone step over it.

Caution

I am not spontaneous;
I ponder, mull, and think again.
The unknown feels precarious,
And I am not spontaneous.
Crossing lines is craziness;
It’s easier to just abstain.
I am not spontaneous;
I ponder, mull, and think again.

OctPoWriMo 5 - Both Good and Bad

Today's prompt is Finally I Understand, and this is a theme I revisit often. I wrote another triolet today.

Both Good and Bad

My life has not gone how I’d planned
And yet it’s good, so I am glad.
Now I finally understand
My life has not gone how I’d planned
For it’s not traced, but drawn freehand:
A masterpiece, both good and bad.
My life has not gone how I’d planned
And yet it’s good, so I am glad.

OctPoWriMo 1 - I Was Blind

It is day one of OctPoWriMo 2017, and the prompt is How Did I Get Here?

I Was Blind

I used to know the truth;
I knew that I was right;
But it was all a lie.
My heart contains the proof:
From darkness into light;
No longer I’ll deny.

From things that I was taught
I have broken free;
In fire I’m refined.
Now that I know naught,
I can truly see
That I was blind.

I Didn't Think I Was Fat

“Have you lost weight?”

It seems like such an innocent question, a compliment really. It’s a way to let someone know you’ve noticed a change in them, and it’s a positive change, right?

But I didn’t think I was fat before. Was I fat before? I’ve always been pretty happy with my body, with it’s size and shape. I walk regularly, and I don’t usually get out of breath even on long treks (as long as there’s no mountain climbing involved). I’m not thin, but I didn’t think I was fat.

Just over a month ago, I had severe stomach pain that landed me in the emergency room, where I discovered my gallbladder needed to be removed. They didn’t want to do the surgery right away though; they wanted to wait for my gallbladder to “calm down.” Apparently, gallbladders can have tantrums.

I learned to make sushi, which is a plus

In the three or four weeks that I waited for surgery, I was on a low fat diet since eating too much fat causes gallbladder attacks. I learned to love boneless skinless chicken breast and salmon steaks and rice. I scoured grocery store shelves for spices and read the nutrition labels on everything I bought. Choosing a meal from a restaurant menu was actually quite easy, while uninspiring: most places had only one or two options that worked for me.

I’ve never believed in diets, but with the threat of a repeat of that misery hanging over my head, I had little choice.

After less than two weeks on the diet, none of my pants fit without a belt. I don’t own a scale, but I was clearly losing inches. That’s when I started to hear the comments about how much weight I was losing. Well-meaning people often added remarks on how I should think about keeping up with this diet after my surgery. Because a low fat diet is what most people think of as healthy.

Did you know that nuts and some fruits (like avocado) are very high fat? But they’re also very good for you. Did you also know that soft drinks and candy contain zero fat? My low fat diet wasn’t necessarily good for me, and losing weight doesn’t always mean you’re healthy.

I did try to eat a lot of vegetables because I love vegetables, but I also ate sugary sorbets (it was August and super hot—don’t judge me). I may have lost weight, but I don’t know if I was healthier than when I was eating cheese and bacon (in moderation).

Since saying goodbye forever to my gallbladder, I’ve gone back to eating normally and I feel great. It’s been three weeks since my surgery, and I’m walking again and my energy levels are higher than they’ve been in years. But every time someone asks me if I’m keeping up with my low fat diet, I wince. No, I’m not. And I’m happy and healthy. I don’t need to be on a diet.

Thank You

Yesterday, someone replied to a comment I had left on an online article. They made huge, erroneous assumptions about me; insulted me; and swore at me. After my initial horrified, angry reaction where I kinda wanted to yell back, I realized that it just wasn't worth it. So I wrote this instead.

Thank You

Thank you for reminding me
How vile people can be.
How some, no matter what, will choose
To merely shout abuse.

Understanding, compromise,
And kindness they despise.
Also, logic, facts, and proof;
They think they know all truth.

Thank you. I remember now
And I will not allow
Myself to waste my energy.
Blocked. Bye bye.