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Esther Spurrill Jones. Powered by Blogger.
08 March 2012
It's time for Round Three of the 50 First Lines Challenge.There were three winners of Round 2, and we are to pick one paragraph of those three and write a summary in ten sentences or less of what the story is about. I picked paragraph 2 by 4am Writer:


Nobody wanted to claim the abandoned baby on the hill. Not a single hunter from the King’s clan and not one farmer from the Queen’s clan knelt in admission. That hill, with its concealed scorpion pits and live landmines, was supposed to keep the two clans divided as part of the War treaty. But the baby had all the markings, proof that the hill had been crossed. He had the silvery eyes of the Kings and the ruddy skin of the Queens. His secret will not last long. In time, the family birthmark will bloom. Announcing to which hunter and which farmer the baby truly belonged. And then the spooks will come after them.

And here is my entry:

This is a story about a child growing up in a world divided by war, a world that was torn apart by betrayal. His silvery eyes and ruddy skin clearly show that he is born of both clans, and no one will claim him and admit to a dalliance with the enemy. However, as he comes of age, a birthmark appears on his body, clearly showing which family from each clan he springs from—for everyone in each clan has these birthmarks—and his parents are revealed to be the son of the chief hunter and the daughter of the head farmer. This revelation causes some consternation, and leads to some argument, for both families want to claim the child as their own as he is now displaying talent in the magic of both royal families. The child, now really a young man, was raised by a farmer family who treated him as a servant, and he wants nothing to do with the war or with either royal family, but he wants out of his current situation, so he allows them to fight over him until he cannot take it anymore and he calls up the spooks and sets them on his families. Spooks cannot physically harm anyone, but they are horrifying in aspect, and the superstitious farmers and hunters are terrified of them, and no one has ever been able to call up or control the spooks, so when the young man does this, he immediately has their complete attention. He declares himself the Ruler of both clans, and no one argues.

2 comments:

theaccidentalnovelist said...

Thanks for your entry! Everyone else has until midnight to enter.

It's been fun and I'll be looking for feedback afterward. Would love to hear about that after Wednesday.

Grumpy Bulldog, March Madman said...

You've been tagged to join the Great Star Wars Blogathon! Details here: http://www.troublewithroy.com/2012/03/so-you-say-youve-got-this-idea-on-how.html